Criticism is one of the common forms of interpersonal communication, from passing comment about how you dressed at a time to a critical statement abolishing the personality and existence. We are regularly in situations where others are thinking and critical remark will improve the situation and bring deep insight and useful.
Harsh criticism and critical for us anyway, especially when it comes from important people, criticism intensifies in many cases, the lack of security and defensive position. One of the main reasons for which people come in individual therapy is the use of double or criticism and critical.
Unfortunately most people are most severe critics of themselves, in addition to criticism and criticism of our relatives scolded us. We are beating our self-confidence at a time in which we judge and criticize ourselves on the mistake we made. This is even when someone else adds to it and controls our actions. We can try to control the inner critical voice, but it is very difficult to control the criticism of others us – especially when we appreciate them, hanging them or fear them.
One of the biggest pains that people carry with them, is critical parents who can not encourage, refer to endure a cold or ignored – as if the child’s feelings do not exist. Parents are critical factors undermining confidence and belief in the ability. Critical intergenerational transfer passes, children of parents who are critical, often, people become critical when they themselves consumed by internal doubts.
There are several ways that can assist you handle yourself and your relationships, in terms of criticism and critical:
Resist the temptation to reimbursing the criticism of criticism – when a person is attacked or feel that way, his natural tendency is to strike back, this automatic behavior is not always aware of.
This escalates the problem is the fact that people are offended and hurt in view of the criticism leveled against them, the response is withdrawal, rage and anger that followed hard to go back on the agenda and relationship enters a kind of “Doom of silence”. For example, a significant person to you (spouse, parent, close friend, etc.) complains constantly that you do not answer his calls and messages and penguin or SMS. Instead of referring to what he says, do you blame him in the accounting, hang, pettiness, etc. – all these escalate the conflict and do not correct it. What began as a request reasonable, becomes criticism of one’s personality and his actions. It is clear that this does not lead to a different place.
Stop throwing your insecurity criticism – self-criticism and self-judgment, one of the protective mechanisms are important but they are exaggerated, they become destructive. Hence, when someone criticizes us, our increasing insecurity and interpretation becomes difficult and painful. For example, when someone visits you on the subject in which you judge the most vehement critic of yourself, critique takes on new meaning and interpretation powerful and sometimes destructive. This is similar to the feeling that someone “see you” The weaknesses, lack of confidence and self-criticism.
There are scenarios in which the critical review is not stated, but due to a sense of insecurity you heard it and you respond from such a vulnerable, hurt, defensive and sometimes even aggressive. When there is no truth in the words of criticism one feels like going to humiliate and hurt him on purpose, even though things were not critical or very important.
One way to soften a critical statement is to “sandwich system” – Lay the control of two positive statements, so that the person of the words that he would be able to hear the Hbikort.ansim vulnerable overlooked from the top and bottom of the Sandwich “and refer only to its center – criticism, injury , the sense of destruction and humiliation.